Jun 152007
 

Dar­ren had a post prais­ing the idea of Single-Gender Groups. I find that very prob­lem­at­ic, and here’s why.

Dar­ren’s main point is that women and men com­mu­nic­ate dif­fer­ently. Per­son­ally I’ve found more dif­fer­ences in com­mu­nic­a­tion style in dif­fer­ent coun­tries; I’ve lived in (in chro­no­lo­gic­al order, and only count­ing places I’ve lived in for more than five years and where I’ve spoken the loc­al lan­guage flu­ently) New Zea­l­and, Aus­tralia, Ger­many, and Canada. For example, Ger­mans in my exper­i­ence are rel­at­ively dir­ect, both men and women. Cana­dians often aren’t. Aus­trali­ans are often also dir­ect, New Zeal­anders often aren’t. I tend to be more dir­ect than lots of people, which caused a cer­tain num­ber of prob­lems for me when I was grow­ing up.

One oth­er reas­on I have prob­lems with that atti­tude is due to the fact that I stud­ied phys­ics at uni­ver­sity, and was often the only woman in the room. Obvi­ously the few women study­ing related sub­jects often became friends, but most of my friends were men. Single-gender clubs would mean that I would­n’t be able to take part in activ­it­ies that the rest of my friends could take part in. Obvi­ously sports clubs pose a set of issues that often res­ult in the segreg­a­tion of those tak­ing part, but not for all sports and not neces­sar­ily for the social aspects of those clubs. 

You could say the answer to that is hav­ing more women study phys­ics or maths, but that’s the answer to a dif­fer­ent ques­tion. My ideal is not that there are lots of single-gender groups and every­one finds them ok, but that both men and women can take part in groups where they find the intel­lec­tu­al stim­u­la­tion or enter­tain­ment that they are look­ing for, not restric­ted by people’s expect­a­tions based on their gender, or indeed their name (anoth­er one of Dar­ren’s posts). There are men who knit, you know, even if not very many.

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