When I was at university in Auckland, one guy said to me that he hadn’t realized he was sexist until he met me. I’ve always found discrimination based on the biological capability of bearing children to make about as much sense as discrimination based on eye colour. It seems much of the world doesn’t agree, preferring prejudging abilities to the hard work of figuring out real, rather than presumed, capabilities. A lot of discrimination is simply not thinking, accepting the movie or television view of the world and the roles that women and men (or for that matter, people not of western european extraction) have in it.
There’s quite a lot of sexism in technology. One woman I know hates starting a new job, since, as she says, it takes six months to convince the guys I know how to turn on the light
. Shelagh Callahan told me of an experience she had doing booth duty at a conference. She was starting to explain something to this guy when he interrupted her, said she didn’t know enough and he knew Dr Callahan, the leading expert on this topic, and he (Dr Callahan) had a different opinion. At which someone standing next to him suggested he look at Shelagh’s name badge. I’ve had my fair share of condescending males assume I wouldn’t understand what they’re talking about or be able to contribute anything of value to a technical discussion. One could argue that most women wouldn’t understand a technical discussion, but that’s no excuse for the assumption.
Of course, this problem isn’t limited to technology. A female lawyer friend of mine takes some pains to dress differently to the way secretaries dress, for example, so it’s clear she’s a lawyer and not a secretary. She says it’s been interesting watching the development of some men, who at university assumed everyone was a professional and treated them all equally, but once out in the legal workforce started treating men and women differently, assuming women were secretaries and men were lawyers. With the large number of women graduating from law school these days that should change. Whether the practice of pushing women lawyers off into family court (“you’re so good at being understanding”) where they earn less than criminal court lawyers changes soon is an interesting question.
There are lots of aspects to sexism, quite a few where people don’t understand why I find them irritating, or even upsetting. As an example, sending mail addressed to Mr and Mrs {husband’s name}. Having people assume married people share a surname is not unreasonable, but assuming we also share a first name is. To me it smacks of Victorian-era treatment of women, where they were an appendage of the husband, not beings with separate identities. I guess it seems petty to worry about these sorts of things when women in so many countries have it so much worse, but on the other hand sexism creates an environment that is not welcoming. If you don’t feel your presence is valued in a society, then you’re not going to be a full part of that society.
My wife, who is a great guitarist, has been told by male members of the audience her effect pedal was not facing the right direction… She responded with, “yes, I know”, a rather dirty look and rocked his face off.
It is incredibly frustrating to hear comments from people regarding how they think my wife is a good guitarist, for a girl. While I understand folks are not trying to be rude, it reflects the subtle and pervasive nature of sexism.
Great post!
I had the misfortune of finishing my PhD in 1992 at just the moment when affirmative action hiring in the universities was at its height. That meant that we male candidates had a bit more trouble getting interviews (and landing jobs) than female candidates, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as people made it out to be.
Instead of whining like a lot of my male colleagues, I thought of the four professors (all female) who had been my biggest influences through university. They had had to fight much worse gender discrimination back in the 1960s and 70s on their way to tenure, and ended up deciding that if a woman had to be twice as good as a man to land the same job, they’d simply be twice as good.
The biggest victims of affirmative action, I think, were the women it was trying to protect. Unlike the female professors of a generation before, who fought their way, even a brilliant and well-published new female professor of our generation had to work under a cloud of suspicion that she’d been hired only because of the configuration of her reproductive organs.
Sexism stinks on ice, and the fact that it’s still so visible and unabashed is a moral outrage. I think I was spared most of its taint, probably due to my mother (1919–1981), a “first wave” feminist.
Story: My parents once got a property-tax refund check made out to “THOMAS A COWAN AND WF”. My mother took it to the bank to deposit, and asked the teller how to endorse it: “WF”? More like WTF. (She signed it “Marianne Cowan”, as usual, and of course it went through.)
Personally, at age 49 I’ve become increasingly unwilling to work in all-male (and frequently all-white-with-token-Asian) environments. The repressiveness and hostility that’s characteristic of such groups is just too hard to bear: the snickers, the offhand remarks, the crap. I used to think that segregation was primarily a problem because it lead to discrimination; now I see segregation itself, however supposedly voluntary, as the evil.
G.B. Shaw once said that given a choice between female suffrage (which did not exist in his day) and a requirement for 50% female representation on all elective bodies even if they were elected only by men, he was unhesitatingly for the latter. A hundred years later, we are not even close to such a figure: even 10–20% would be a huge improvement.
I completely agree with you on the “Mr. and Mrs. John Jones” naming thing. It is absurd in this day and age that this 19th-century form is still observed.
Ancient literature is filled with references to the male secretary performed and recognized as both important and lucrative for males throughout history.
Male teachers were also once the standard in education.
The relative recent transition to being predominantly female classifications in employment became sexist and inherently discriminatory when women entered the work force, and were relegated to what became low level employment — without any basis or rationale.
That the gender reconciliation of this important administrative class has not been done to encourage and reflect a unisex status is pure negligence, and a preference for gender specialization that works as disadvantage to both men and women. The term is so affiliated with gender that it should be dropped altogether by modern society as a default sexism.
Don’t start with the “It seems petty to protest” stuff; that’s what women have always said, and why they’re still second class citizens! The only way to get anywhere is to give’m hell, Lauren. Go for it, be bold, never back down. Then you may at last be accepted as a genuine PERSON with a MIND, not just some poor schmuck’s wife. Remember, discrimination hurts everyone, not just women.
I’m only 12 and I hate sexism. I can’t believe that the men thought they controlled everything and the women had to stay homeand look after the children.
Ha- it’s a joke. The amount of sexism still in the world. And I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY WE JUST SIT BACK AND LET IT HAPPEN. Like wtf men still get paid more than women??? LIKE WTF??
And the thing I can’t understand is why they think they’re better than us.
Haha they’re so pathetic.
They’re so inseccure and threatened by us that they have to pretend they’re superior and in control of us.
Like wtf they can’t control themselves when we show like a TINY bit of our leg. Seriously, what a TRAGIC flaw.
We can get them to do anything for us just by acting innocent and looking pretty- use it against them.
We have been controlled for so many years, why aren’t we angry? Why aren’t we fighting back? WHY ARE WE STILL LETTING THEM SAY THEIR CRAP?
Why are they still seen as the ‘head of the house’- lmfao what a pathetic way to show how inseccure they are.
We are going to come back stronger and actually BE EQUAL! But I guess that’s kind of impossible in this world so therefore it will be men against women until they’re slightly intelligent enough to realise that we are actually equal.
Anyway, I can come back another day when I have experienced even more sexism and trust me, I will not stop fighting this til we have won.
Love from Laura, age 14, London!
“..it takes six months to convince the guys I know how to turn on the light. ” That is so true in the IT industry. I don’t have a problem with sexist jokes as long as behind the baffoonery, the guys trust in my skillsets. That becomes apparent with the review, and inevitably women will find there are men who are extremely sexist, some moderately, and others not. The best is to find a group that is not, but the layering of subtle sexism is still quite rampant in the IT industry, as I’ve encountered in the past 15 years as a systems analyst at a Fortune 500 company. As a woman, you can expect less pay, less advancement over time, and less flexibility when it comes to moving groups. When you are younger, I’d say women have more power to negotiate these aspects, even with less developed skillsets. It’s very very unfair, not as in the factor worker scenario. It’s unfair in this regard: you can expect to earn enough to live and own a comfortable apartment, but not in a nice little mansion like a man who started in the same role and moved up the ladders over the years, or someone who has the same knowledge gains over the past decade. The end result is astonishing. And if you get pregnant, say goodbye to any bonuses for work you may have completed that year, or any good reviews. I have experienced this sexism, complained to HR, provided detail on how my current manager and his manager were systematically re-orging all the women out of technical roles, and placing them in limiting non-technical roles, and HR did nothing to improve the situation. The reprocusions of sexism is that hard work gets ignored more often, requests for raises and promotions denied more, and your ability as a woman to remain optimistic is greatly reduced. Even in 2009, so many years after the women’s revolution, guys still look for a “buddy” to work with, not a professional collegue.